Is the Rust Belt Prepared for an Attack? By the Undead?

I do not know why, but all my best buds from high school in Knoxville, Tennesse have migrated to Rust Belt Cities: Buffalo, Cleveland, Dayton and I'm in Pittsburgh.

The Cleveland transplant, aka "Donkey Top", has alerted me to this disturbing alert on Pittsburgh's status.

Study Reveals Pittsburgh Unprepared For Full-Scale Zombie Attack
October 19, 2005 | The Onion | Issue 41•42

PITTSBURGH—A zombie-preparedness study, commissioned by Pittsburgh Mayor Tom Murphy and released Monday, indicates that the city could easily succumb to a devastating zombie attack. Insufficient emergency-management-personnel training and poorly conceived undead-defense measures have left the city at great risk for all-out destruction at the hands of the living dead, according to the Zombie Preparedness Institute.

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I just hope that a Congressional inquiry addresses the disturbing lapse in the Federal Vampire and Zombie Agency.